Posts Tagged alcohol

I use this guest appearance to make a community service announcement. The below described syndromes are real and often go undetected.

Post Pissed Depression (PPD): When one awakes after a massive night and suddenly remembers the most embarrassing thing ever that they did the previous night (eg- falling of a balcony into a neighbours and then waking them up because you are screaming with a broken ankle and they greet you with a steak knife). The depression grips all day and life is suddenly worthless.

Post Pissed Apprehension (PPA): When one awakes up after a massive night and cannot remember what happened the night before. One assumes that they have done the something embarrassing, but there is no evidence to support such a conclusion (except maybe a bruise or two). The not knowing is the worst and butterflies flap in your stomach all day. Occasionally the fated call from a non-drinking friend comes enlightening you about the night before and what you have done – the butterflies all leap from your mouth in a big rush, and PPA turns to PPD.

But the most awful of all is the dreaded “Bird Syndrome”. You wake from a massive night and decide to nip down for something to eat. The sun is bright and the construction workers are hammering away. You start to get irritated and then you suddenly have to duck down with your hand protecting your head – you wait for the cricket ball (beach ball or whatever ball) to hit you… but it doesn’t come – you realise it was a bird flying past casting a ballish shadow…

Please note that it is possible to suffer from all those syndromes simultaneously – trust me on the sunscreen.

Everything I spoke about in last weeks email came true. At the country 21st party, there were people ducking left, right and centre from flaming toilet rolls, dodging a ute that was doing circle work right next to the giant bonfire, and there were more teenage girls crying than at a Justin Timberlake concert. Due to a little excessive red wine drinking, the next morning I was having disturbing heart palpitations…. and when I raised this concern with the owner of the property he said “Did you take any drugs?”, I said “No”, to which he replied “Maybe you should have.” I love country folk!